DAY 10
Chandigarh to Epsom (6,500km)
So I am writing this in an Uber from Heathrow airport, London, back to my house in Epsom. It’s the last 30km of my epic Indian Motorcycling holiday and, even for a man that regularly travels with a hangover, this has been the most horrific journey I’ve ever had. I left my hotel in Chandigarh, to get a taxi to the airport, roughly 22 hours ago and I am officially broken! You may remember the blog post for Day 9 concluding with me, in a taxi with Mat, Sheetal, Kaustabh and Richard, on our way to a local Indian brewery bar to meet Vikas for some drinks and fun. Well, let me tell you how I have spent 30 hours since then…
The taxi from the hotel to the first bar, Beach N Brew, took about 20 minutes across downtown Chandigarh, and if I thought it was a mental, unforgiving city on a motorbike then I was in for a rude awakening in a local taxi. In the 20 minutes we were in the car it wouldn’t be any exaggeration to say we nearly had 5 crashes. Our local taxi driver drove the car like an escaping bank robber, who had been struck blind seconds before getting the car jammed in second gear. We thrashed our way across the city and ended alongside in a very western style ‘strip’ of bars, restaurants and shops, covered in awnings and neon lights with ‘cool’ names like The Purple Frog, Barbecue Nation and Rendezvous NightClub. We had reached our destination!
We all jumped out of the cab and headed straight into Beach n Brew https://www.facebook.com/BeachNBrew26/ for a few looseners. It was a fantastic place I have to say! We walked through a bar that wouldn’t have looked out of place in a New York Hotel, past the open kitchen where the food looked and smelled incredible and through to an enclosed garden area, with huge screens showing the cricket and some great seating areas. We were seated at a table for 8, and immediately ordered HUGE glasses of premium lager. Rich took charge of ordering the food and got us a selection of finger food, and we were off and running. We sat and reminisced about the previous 9 days, laughing at some of the things we had seen and done and generally having a good time. Soon Vikas arrived, looking clean and sharp in his jeans and jacket combo (whilst we all wore Planet Way Round t-shirts and jumpers) and joined us in having some fun. Soon, we were having too much fun. Large glasses of lager were accompanied by Tropical Tequila shots, which is essentially a shot of Tequila with some grilled Pineapple to wash it down with afterwards. Rich organised two rounds of this, to go with our beers, and then we were up and off for our inaugural Chandigarh pub crawl.
Next stop was The Thirsty Vampire bar, along the same western style strip, complete with burly, grunting door staff who didn’t really want to let us (or anyone ) in. We talked them into it though, walked down 2 sets of stairs and into an empty bar. It seems they were very good at scaring people off and not letting people in generally, to the point that the atmosphere in the empty bar was shit! Good work lads! Regardless, Kaustabh ordered a round of B52’s, which we shot down in no time at all. We all then had a short spin on the dance floor, and then boom – we were off to bar number 3 of the #InauguralChandigarhPubCrawl We stopped on the way to pose for a few team photos, and it started to become obvious that some people were better at handling their alcohol than others.
Stop number 3 was Sector-7 Social, who seemed to recruit their front door staff from the same recruitment company as The Thirsty Vampire. We sweet-talked our way in though, or rather Vikas sweet-talked our way in, and went into another really cool bar. It felt like a bar in Amsterdam or somewhere like that, with a huge bar with lots of lagers and beers on draft, a massive dance floor and then stadium style seating out the back for watching cricket on the big screens. A waiter found us a booth overlooking the dance floor and Rich got on with ordering more food, beer and Tequilas. Now, the next few hours went by in a blur. We drank, we talked, we drank, we danced, we drank, we watched fights on the dance floor, we drank, we ate, we drank, we drank, we drank! By the end Kaustabh was pole dancing (I do have a video Kaustabh), Sheetal collapsed (I do have a photo Sheetal), Mat looked over the dancefloor like an unofficial ‘bouncer’ (I do have a photo Mat), Vikas kicked back, pulled faces and had a sit down dance (yes, I do have videos Vikas) and Rich fuelled everyone along with more beer, Tequila and finger snacks. We had an amazing time! It was very nice to kick-back, relax and have some beers, knowing that we didn;t have to ride a motorbike in extreme conditions the following day. Some of us, of course, had to travel 6,500km on a plane, but that’s easy in comparison.
At about 12.30am we left Sector-7 Social and secured a taxi back to the hotel. We said goodbye to Vikas outside the bar, and then Mat, Sheetal, Kaustabh, Richard and I got a taxi back to the hotel. There was singing in the taxi, stories told, jokes told and people passing out (Sheetal) and before we knew it we were back. There was, remarkably, a desire to have a night-cap when we got back from the hotel, but as I had to wake up in about 4 hours to get a taxi I made my apologies, said my goodbyes and went to our room. I got to our room, brushed my teeth, put my sleeping shorts on, got into bed, closed my eyes, then opened them and low and behold it was 5.25am and time to wake up. FML! I showered, brushed my teeth, put my contact lenses in, dressed and then there was a gentle knock on the door. It was Mat, still in tour guide mode, making sure I made the taxi on-time and didn’t miss my flight. I thanked him and then jumped into the taxi to start my epic trip. It was 5.45am Indian time, which is 00.15am UK time.
The taxi driver was a chatty fella, exactly what I didn’t need. The 30 minutes it took to get to the airport were torture. He told me all about his brother sho now lived in West Norwood, who fixes gas boilers, and insisted that I give him my number onto pass onto him. I was too tired to argue…and so far i have had 3 messages from him since I landed back in the UK. Once we got to Chandigarh airport for my flight to Delhi I had to figure out how things worked in an Indian airport, in comparison to a British airport, all the time hungover/still drunk. It seems you have to first scan your bags through an x-ray machine, at which point they are sealed with cable ties. Weirdly, you can’t check power packs in your hold luggage, so I had to carry the two I had taken in my jeans pockets as I did not have any carry-on bags. Once you have done that you have to go to the check-in desks, as usual in the UK, but with the added ‘fun’ of the Indian approach to queuing. People pushed in, pushed me out of the way, formed their own lines and generally did what they want to get checked-in. Luckily for me I didn’t care. I was too hungover/drunk to care so just stood quietly and eventually got to the front. The cable tied bags were taken, a paper boarding card issues (of course, always paper) and then it was off through security.
This was fairly simple, as in the UK, and then I was through to Chandigarh International Departures where there was one coffee shop and that was all. I had coffee and water and then I saw them putting up the ‘lane management’ posts and ropes, so went and stood right at the front so that I was first in the queue (as no-one could push-in past the queue management system) and then I could just sit on the plane ASAP and go to sleep. I was the 9th person on the plane. I genuinely don’t even know how people managed to push in past me? Oh well. I slept for the 45 minute flight and was only awoken as we bumped down onto the runway when we landed in Delhi. Now was the fun part. I knew that Delhi had a number of terminals that are quite spread out, and this would involve a shuttle bus journey, but was feeling particularly rough at this stage so was full of dread! Soon though I reclaimed my luggage, found the shuttle bus, got my travel pass for the shuttle, rode the 15 minute bus ride, arrived at Terminal 3 and was gliding past the security on the door to check-in. In Indian airports they have what appear to be soldiers on the entrance doors, and if you don’t have a valid boarding pass and passport, then you aren’t even allowed to enter the terminal. No teary security gate goodbyes in India.
I joined the long Air India check-in queue, pushed my big bag along with my foot as we moved along, and after barely 15 minutes had checked in, got rid of my bags, been given my (paper) boarding card and was whizzing through security. No issues whatsoever. And then, I was into the Aladins cave of a true international departures terminal. McDonalds, WH Smith, Subway, Boots, KFC….I was in heaven. I enjoyed a (large) 3 piece variety meal, went for an hours ‘relaxation’ massage at the O2 Spa and then sat and had a Starbucks whilst waiting for the plane to board. By now it was 13.30pm Indian time and I had been on the go for 8 hours. I was 100% no longer drunk, and 200% definitely hungover. Luckily boarding happened quickly, and I found my seat in 33G. It was an aisle seat, with no-one in the seat next to me, and then a northern enlgish lady in the window seat of our three, 33I. The flight time was due to be 10 hours 30 minutes, because I think they have to fly around Pakistan air space so they don’t get shot down, so I settled in for a long sleep. The flight was fairly uneventful. I watched Collateral Beauty and cried like a baby, I then watched Interstellar (again) and cried like a baby and then finally I watched old episodes of Cold Feet on my iphone and cried like a baby. I think, on reflection, I may have been a bit emotional about returning home. We landed back in the UK at 19.30pm UK time, 19 hours after I had left my hotel room! My bags were the last ones off the plane, and I eventually fell into an Uber at about 21.30pm UK time.
When I got home at roughly 10.00pm I was so happy for so many reasons. Firstly, I got to see Kristy, George and (of course) Charley after 12 days away. There really is no place like home you know! Secondly, Kristy had cooked (rib-eye) Steak and Chips and cracked open a bottle of champagne. The perfect celebration meal to come home too. Thirdly, I got to tell Kristy all about the amazing adventure I had been on and go through the 1,500 photos I had taken. Fourth of all, and most importantly, I got to go to sleep in my own warm, fresh, bed with my own warm, fresh pyjamas. It’s great to go on an adventure, and I probably had one of the greatest holidays that I have ever had, or will ever have….but….I love my little life back here in the UK and I’m so thankful to get back to it.
If you made it this far, thanks so much for reading the blog. I hope you enjoyed it? If so then please comment or share, if not then keep it to yourself!
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